• Zoe Spooner

How to Boost Your Self Esteem

Updated: Aug 12





We often hear people say "she has low self-esteem" or that really hit my self esteem but what does that actually mean and perhaps more importantly, how do we boost our own?


Self esteem is "How we value and perceive ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can sometimes be really difficult to change" (Taken from mind.org.uk)


If you feel on cloud 9 with confidence Tuesday because you got a promotion but come Friday you were rejected by your lover and hate yourself does this mean you had high and then low self esteem in the space of one week?


Well yes and no.


Self esteem is a general overall feeling. So it would be somewhere in the middle. You could say your confidence was high on Tuesday (post promotion) and was low Friday after the break up.


If you keep having experiences of low confidence this will affect your overall self esteem and low self esteem can lead to bigger problems such as depressions and anxiety.


So how do we boost our Self esteem?


The fastest way to overcome self esteem is to get acquainted with "Negative Nancy" aka your inner critic. She (or he) potentially will be telling you a lot of horrible stuff about yourself through out the day at any one moment and in any situation.


Once we can put Negative Nancy back in the corner we start to take control of our own lives and listen to thoughts that uplift and inspire us rather than drag us down.


That sounds great. But how do we do that?


First thing is to be come aware.


Do you know how it feels when your self-esteem is high?


Think about a time you felt confident. Perhaps you gave a great speech or had an awesome third date.


* What things are you saying to yourself?


* How do you feel?


* What physical sensations do you have?


As a result of this, what actions do you take? Are you more assertive at work? Dressing up more? Taking better care of yourself?



And what about when your self esteem is low.


What is Negative Nancy saying?


How do you feel?


How is your breathing?


Are you hot/cold?


Notice the difference between your thoughts, your feelings and any physical sensations.


Now work out how you can replace those depressing thoughts with something more empowering.


I am stupid could become - I am learning


I am not good enough could change to I am good enough


I am an idiot - I am trying my hardest.


Once we crack down changes our thoughts we can lift ourselves out of negative spirals and improve our overall sense of self esteem.


Although in theory this sounds easy, it takes practice!


Let me know how you get on by dropping me an email at zoe@thetreeoflifecoaching.com

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